If you haven’t read my post on this whole overnight in KL thing, you may refer to this. But the short of it is that because of some passport mishap, my 9-month-old baby and I actually flew to KL without his dad and went back the following day all by ourselves, as well.
We actually could have decided against flying in the first place, being unsure of what may happen regarding my husband’s passport, whether he could follow or not. But we both thought that we can just fly anyway with the hopes of him if finding favor enabling him to follow us later at night. But alas, nothing can be done and when we realized that I immediately knew it wasn’t going to be an easy task.
To go there , even with the help of friends, can be quite tiring. My baby is 9 months old and is still nursing. He nurses for food and for comfort. He can pull up to stand but cannot do it on his own yet. He obviously can’t walk yet. So just imagine that it would be entirely upon his mother to provide milk and physical support at all times. Not to mention that he’s grown to be more active- learning acrobatic skills, back bending and all on the floor, in my arms, in the tub- you get the picture. His voice had picked up volume and he has more syllables to share these days, so I can hardly keep him quiet. Then there’s his supplements- to take with every meal. And oh, the meals! I must not skip any because he needs to gain weight. And so I mustn’t, too, so milk supply stays strong. Whoever said a mom’s got nothing to do?
So when the doors of the plane were closing without seeing any Joseph on my side, I wanted to cry. I wanted to yell, “STOP!!!” And then jump out to run to my husband. Of all people he also knows how terrified I am of strong turbulence. This only came about since I had Philip, not because I fear to die but because I fear that I will not be strong enough to save my son if anything happens. Oh the mind of a mother, really.
But there was so much grace. Amidst all these thoughts and the reality of my physical challenges within our unfortunate situation, I received so much help!
I did not have to carry so much as our friends who were flying with us helped us with all the bags. The flight attendant also was attentive to my needs- she buckled my carrier and fastened my seatbelt when I was having a hard time.
Philip was also unusually calm and quiet- the moment we took off he fell asleep at my breast and remained so for the next 2 hours. When he woke up he was so happy and so easy to please. Before we know it we were already landing in KL. (The ride was also not bumpy at all!)
Then when we got to KL, the boy was still very easy to manage and our bags were all claimed and loaded by our friends. And when we got to the hotel, so many of our other friends asked if we needed help. I actually had a problem of who to say yes and no to!
We were starving when we landed, though. But first things first was to check-in the hotel. After doing so, we bumped into Pastor Paolo and Jenn Punzalan and they volunteered to take us to the next door mall for dinner. I gladly said yes as it will help me greatly to feed Philip, while also feeding myself.
When we got to the food court I realized they would not accept credit cards. But I had no time in between to change my dollars, so the Punzalans offered to take care of our dinner. It was a good one. I ate yellow Laksa and Philip had rice with soup. (Tip: If you will only stay for a day in KL, EAT LAKSA.)
Then before dinner was over my mother in law and father in law came to relieve me of my mama duties and even bought dessert for me. The Punzalans took off, while Nana and Tata took over. They brought us back to the hotel where my mother in law watched over Philip as I was talking to Joseph about our situation over the internet.
Alas, nothing can be done and the decision is to fly back home the very next day. I mean how could I not when my boy’s been jumping up and down at he mere sight of his father???
That night, my mother in law slept with us to keep us company. I was dead tired from all the walking but I still couldn’t sleep well thinking of how much I miss Joseph and how I wanted to him to be with me.
The next day we woke and I got us dressed for breakfast, after which we attended at least the first day of our conference. At breakfast, friends passed Philip around to help us both get sufficient meals. Oh I am just so glad our church is like family. No shortage of hands to help at all times!
Right after the morning sessions I had to quickly eat lunch with Philip. That was, again, done with the help of my in laws. They offered every hand and all fingers and toes at my disposal! I gladly took them all and left Philip with them after eating as I rushed upstairs so I could pack and leave for the airport soon as we can. At around 2:30PM, Philip and I were in a cab with Nana and Tata. They brought us to the airport.
My in-laws did not leave until 5:00PM, when I decided to move towards our gate. Before that, they bought me coffee, held Philip while I checked in, and played with him before boarding time. It was really only when we were at the gate that Philip and I were completely left alone. And I realized that I could have been more tired and stressed and upset about the situation had it not been for the generosity of these people who helped us.
Then I realized that this is how the Lord is with us. He freely gives without asking for any payment. Or maybe some others think it is payment, that the only thing He would ask from us to be in a relationship with Him. To love Him above all and trust Him above all.
And not only does He not ask for payment but He wants you to humbly tell Him, “I’m in need. Help me. Take my burdens and give me rest.” He’d rather that than, “I can do everything. Don’t mind me. I can be good and when I am already good then I will deserve Your love.”
My husband said that there was a supernatural grace on me the whole time we were going through this ordeal. He kept saying I was unbelievable and he was so grateful to me and proud of me. I told him though, that it really felt like nothing. It wasn’t as hard as we thought it would be and I attribute that to the grace these different people have extended to me.
That is how God changes us, I guess. We become more graceful and become more of who we are supposed to be as we tell Him we can’t do it on our own and embrace the transforming power of His love. His grace really changes everything.
Whew, what a story to tell. Which I wouldn’t be able to say had I been too proud to admit my weaknesses and need. If I had shown everyone I was strong and able and mighty then I would have had to carry all my bags while Philip was strapped onto me, buckle the carrier, fasten my own seat belts, pay for my dinner (or worse, skip dinner!), miss dessert, pay for our cab ride, produce money at the airport, and hold Philip all the time. But none of those simply because I swallowed my pride and said, “Help me.”